Saturday, June 20, 2009

等(一)

很久没有写部落格了,写不写都没关系啦,没有人会来看,最重要的,她不会来看。从一开始,部落格的开端,就是想要记载一些回忆,好的坏的(应该是没有好的),长的短的,难忘的,不想忘的,我都想把它们都写下来,要让我以后回忆我的往事,更加容易。其实,我的人生很简单,在之前的恋情,几乎都是短暂的,都是错误的开始,全都是我错。其中最对不起的,就是那可爱的小女生,她消瘦了,真的瘦了。应该在学业上有很大压力。我的关心,已经是一种无知觉的流动空气,我的影子,已经也是一个最陌生的熟悉模样。当天的决定,是真的大错特错吗?还是我们的开始就是错误?
你可以听听我说吗?我已经做了一年的坏人,一个你已经遗忘了的负心人,我是负心人吗?我根本没有告诉你当时的事实。但是,还是算了吧,我不介意当一辈子的坏人。感到开心的就是你很快就忘了我,现在有一个很可爱的男生来照顾你,放心很多。所以呢,当时我做的决定应该是对的。我要跟你说的其实只有那么一点点,离开是一种解脱,你已经解脱了,恭喜。
星期四的晚上,是今年最开心的,18/6,已经很久没有见到她了。她改变了,越来越美。我也改变了,越来越累。很不舍得的眼神,她应该是没有注意到,当她说掰掰的时候,我真的有一点想哭。那天晚上第一眼看到她,是一种莫名奇妙的开心,这种开心,我很久都没有拥有过了。其实,我想告诉你,你打我手臂的每一下,都是最舒服的,就算你怎样用力都好,都是一样。我,其实是害怕跟你握手啦,不是不要,你明白我的意思吗?你这么聪明,应该明白我的感受,明白我想说的。
魔术,这阵子我都在学习着,其实都是假的。可是,这种玩意儿能够让你开心的笑起来,就好像小孩子。我真的真的很喜欢看到你这最开心、最甜美、最无忧的笑容。我真的,真的很喜欢。告诉你吧,我是特地去学习,然后要变给你看,就是要你开心的笑笑,魔术师让一个人的好奇心回到三岁小孩那里,我那天已经做到了。你开心吗?如果你看到了这篇文章,能够告诉我,见到短发的我,有什么改观吗?别人怎么说我的样貌我都不在乎,我,是最在乎你所说的每一句话。你知不知道?
上星期六的表演,这普通的受伤,其实都没什么事情。可是,在我看见你眼神里那一点点的关心,什么都不痛了。知道吗。你那普通的关心,会成为我最好的药方,会让我迅速恢复。
如果我以后就好像我说的,眼睛越来越模糊,风湿,什么什么都好,就算没什么,我都会像你说的,不要娶老婆咯~免得害了别人。对啊,我会一直的唱“我爱的人,不是我的爱人……”我也会一直听着【蒲公英的约定】。我会一直一直的等下去,一直一直的。
“如果痴痴的等,某日终于可等都一生中最爱……”
其实,我真的很希望,抓着你的手,告诉你我上日文课学来的,愛してる。我会学好英语,学好日语,方便以后带你去日本disney玩,去australia玩,去italy玩,UK,London,我还会去学习韩语,因为你说过korea,你要去。我希望,会是我带着你去,去每一个你想要去的地方。我还会让自己身体强壮起来,为的只是保护你,好让你能够好好的去玩。这一切,永远有效。希望,我带你去。云顶一游开开心心哦~两个铜钱虽然不是什么,可是已经保护着我很多年了,所以,它一定能够保护你,因为你比我重要,它知道的^^
2009年6月20日 1225 要出去了~

Saturday, June 13, 2009

she is..?

saturday, i'll going to perform, first time beatbox performance on stage, adding some breakdance, it's a very very difficult thing. since i was injured during the practice. ok never mind that's not really a serious thing. so i am going to do my best but not try my best only. beatbox, is a thing that you can do it with your tongue, lips, teeth, throat and nose. combine the sounds together that looks like some beat. it's a very funny thing, actually this is not a performance, it's just a simple tutorial for audience, the committee said i have to communicate with them, so i change it to the beatbox tutorial and not only a performance.

it's just some bullshit above, actually i am tired now, for the performance, for the club and activities, and for my studies. her blog, i always go and check whether got new update or not, i got it, there is a new post. it's a very simple thing that she is talknig about, but, i really want to know who she is talking about actually. i am affair to ask her, she is unhappy, i know. something happened inside her heart. i wish i can understand what she is thinking now, really. and my every performance, i wish to let her come to see, but she never comes to have a look. maybe, she's a very busy body, i don't know. this saturday, the next performance that will be done by myself, i'll going to solo on the stage, how? i never solo to perform.

something is inside her heart
and something is inside my heart
i can do nothing
because everything that i do is nothing
how to understand
how to get up again
you
how are you
do not ask to me
because i am not
i'm getting crazy
for the thing that i want
for the thing that i do
sometimes
i am happy
it's fake
because i am unhappy all the time
my hope
is a very simple thing that can happen to everyone
except the current me
wish you happy
all the time

- peter pan

2009/06/13 0302 i have to go, take care. miss your voice.m